Today was a little crazy. I had all intentions of going grocery shopping before picking up Annie from basketball practice, but I didn't. Too tired and I did not feel like shopping for anything. Yep, i said it but it shall pass. :) Didn't want to check the bank account to see what a deficit Black Friday put on my account. I was thinking of a plan to sell jewelry and pumpkin rolls to have some breathing room for Christmas. I decided to skip shopping and just read in the car until Annie got out.
On the way there I passed a kid and thought it was odd where they were standing on the road but kept on driving. 20 minutes later I got a heart attack when they knocked on my car window asking if I had seen a car drive by. I did not and the kid walked away. I knew something was wrong and asked them if they needed to call anyone on my phone. They did and I asked them if they needed a ride home. They did. Never met the kid before in my life.
As I was driving them home they asked if I was rich. I laughed and said no. They said that they always see my family in the paper. I said if I were rich I would be driving a Hummer and they laughed. They asked to be dropped off by their mailbox because they didn't want a "nice car" to be stuck in the holes down the road to their house. When they got out of the car, I cried. I thanked God for allowing me to be at the right place and right time. Finally not going grocery shopping and procrastinating paid off. My emotions came from guilt. As I was riding home in the 3rd row of the car for 2 hours surrounded by mounds of Christmas presents i wish I had more money and a bigger car. I fantasized of what bigger car I could get to sit comfortably and be able to travel with my "stuff." I prayed hard for them that they would succeed in life but mainly that I would be content.
Thanksgiving came without much fanfare. I was happy to see my family and extended family from NJ. The time in VA cured my homesickness. On Thanksgiving I checked in on Facebook and read posts from my breast cancer support groups about this possibly being their last Thanksgiving. People taking pictures to capture these moments. People praising to just be healthy and keep the meal down.
I felt guilty in that moment not taking a family photo. My good health and scans never crossed my mind. I guess it's good to not look at things like it might be your last. But at the same time I wonder if I would have done anything different. I did have the opportunity to spend one on one time with Meg and Annie. Madison was in heaven with my Dad and Mom to care less about anyone else. And looking back on it now I would have done the same thing with Meg and Annie whether this was my last holiday hooray or I have many more to come. Annie got her first taste of Black Friday which is a tradition my Mom and I have always done since I was able to walk. Meg went out with me later to a jewelry store to hunt down Alex and Ani bracelets. :) which we are both in love with now.
I ended getting my family portrait heading home. With Meg driving on I64 in Chesapeake and me crammed in the back with white knuckles.
When I got home I checked my zillion emails inviting me to Cyber Monday to every store known to man. My last email that was checked as read was the email from the Young Survivor Coalition awarding me a full scholarship to attend the annual conference March of next year. This is a huge honor to attend, let alone receive a full scholarship! I just registered and I also found my gratitude!
